JUST FOR FUN

These clever insults are from an era when word craft was still valued;  before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words:

The famous exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
"If you were my husband I'd give you poison,"

"If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

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A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the

gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

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"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

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"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

- Winston Churchill

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"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill

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"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest

 Hemingway).

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 "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"

- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

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"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book;

 I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

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"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

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"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

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"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

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"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.

 "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

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"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

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"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

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"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

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"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

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"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

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"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

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"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

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And my favorite one of all time:

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx